It's game 7 of the NBA finals and a man makes his way to his seat at center court. He sits down and notices that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone is sitting there. He responds, "No, the seat's empty." "The first man exclaims, "What?!? Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the NBA finals and not use it?" The neighbor responds, "Well the seat is mine, but my wife passed away and this is the first NBA finals we haven't been together." The first man responds," I'm sorry to hear that. Wasn't there anyone else, a friend or relative, that could've taken that seat?" The neighbor responds, "No, they're all at the funeral."
Golfer: "I'd move heaven & earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth."
A Giants fan, a Padre fan, and a Dodger fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more. The Padre fan insists he's the most loyal. "This is for San Diego!" he yells and jumps off the side of the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Giants fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, "This is for San Francisco!" and pushes the Dodger fan off the mountain.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
I named my hard drive "dat ass," so once a month my computer asks if I want to "back dat ass up."
A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" "Nine..."
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
A Spanish captain was walking on his ship when a soldier rushes to him and exclaims, "An enemy ship is approaching us!" The captain replies calmly, "Go get my red shirt." The soldier gets the shirt for the captain. The enemy ship comes in and heavy rounds of fire are exchanged. Finally, the Spaniards win. The soldier asks, "Congrats sir, but why the red shirt?" The captain replies, "If I got injured, my blood shouldn't be seen, as I didn't want my men to lose hope." Just then, another soldier runs up and says, "Sir, we just spotted another twenty enemy ships!" The captain calmly replies, "Go bring my yellow pants."
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.
China, Russia, and Poland venture to space. China says they'll go to Pluto because it's the farthest. Russia says they'll go to Jupiter because it's the biggest. Poland says they'll go to the Sun. Russia and China warn that they'll melt. They reply, "We'll go at night."

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狗狗年纪大了牙齿掉了狗狗能打青霉素的作用狗狗年老了 得了螨虫病狗狗年龄怎么算的狗狗尿 细菌感染狗狗年纪大了牙齿掉了狗狗能吃蒙拖狗狗年老了 得了螨虫病狗狗能吃油的么狗狗能吃板栗吗?狗狗尿多怀孕了吗狗狗年老了 得了螨虫病狗狗能吃鸡肠子吗狗狗尿多怀孕了吗狗狗年龄公式狗狗能吃板栗吗?狗狗能吃维e吗狗狗尿 细菌吗狗狗尿 细菌感染狗狗能自己在家吗狗狗能吃炸的吗狗狗尿 细菌吗狗狗能吃油的么狗狗能喂生鸡架吗狗狗尿 细菌狗狗能喝很多水吗?狗狗尿 细菌狗狗能喂生鸡架吗狗狗能自己在家吗狗狗能吃鸡肠子吗一名娱乐场所的小保安,无意中救下了一位建筑公司的女副总,从此平步青云,一跃成神,更有祖传绝世异术,邀得一众梁山英雄相助。性格孤僻的天才警官南港市公安局东海分局局长北海琼月只有一个愿望——成为一名恪尽职守、秉公执法的优秀警察。她从不怀疑自己的能力,坚信自己能做到让每一起案件水落石出,不料南港市发生的一系列连续凶杀案让一向被誉为神探的北海琼月焦头烂额,被害者不仅毫无共同点,而且死因离奇。北海琼月身为专案组长一直希望尽快破案,不料一件又一件事情打乱了她的计划…… 正在北海琼月被一个个意外弄得焦头烂额的时候,案件出现了一丝转机,有人目击到凶手犯案的过程,甚至在案发现场活捉凶手。本该为此举杯庆祝的北海琼月却陷入了沉思,这个被逮捕的凶手不是别人,正是和她一起上学、一起工作、一起办案的她唯一的朋友。 友情的信任遭到了巨大的冲击。作为警察,北海琼月有义务履行职责;但作为朋友,北海琼月不相信她是凶手。信任和证据面前,北海琼月必须做出抉择。 元素大陆一位无名小卒叶宇开局元素力零,在收到仇家致命伤害时遇见贵人尊师开始逆转人生的故事太玄大陆,五位最强者,被称为神。某天,一场大战过后,大陆中最年轻的神失踪,恰逢一座小城池,一位少女问旁边的少年说:“你将来想做什么呀?”少年冷漠的回答:招兵买马、踏破龙阳。尘世间有星辰千万,格局变化无常。 流淌着罪血之人,就一定要去死吗?身负着罪恶,就一定要被世人唾弃? 既然人间正道留不得我,那我李长安从此宁愿入魔! 从此,执此之剑,敕令这天!高阳原本是个蓝星的雇佣兵,在一次执行任务中来到了金庸武侠世界--神雕。 在神雕世界中获得武林中人梦寐以求的武林秘籍,左手六脉神剑、右手降龙十八掌,年纪轻轻就达到别人一辈子的成就, 一个小小的蝴蝶能带动多大的效应?神雕世界因为高阳的到来又会有什么样的变化?神雕中的爱恨情况是否因为高阳的到来而改变? 让我们走进神雕世界,看高阳如何在江湖中翻云覆雨~~~~~ 各位书友要是觉得《神雕之我是大魔王》还不错的话请不要忘记向您的朋友推荐哦前几天正好是我和小羊先生结婚七周年纪念日,当晚我是辗转反侧心血来潮,想起来要不要写个自传,主要感觉自己的人生还是蛮有意思的,思来想去延伸出了很多内容,但是很大程度上都是被狗子占据了主路,综合着想吧,不如就取名叫<徐漂亮>吧,徐漂亮这名字是我自己给自己取的,过分积极的自信,调侃用的;是小羊认可及丰满的,更是儿子让它有了灵魂。在2021年,世界上最尖端的智慧巡游式盾构机,在一次输水洞工程中,耗资巨大的智控设备出了问题。 一个三十多岁的年轻人,竟然是这个武器的真正创造者....二十一世纪,是一个飞速发展的时代,在第三次的人工智能浪潮中,有一些天赋异禀的年轻人。 在经历了创业的失利之后,随着临港新区的新的发展,临港的人工智能科技研究所也开始尝试着进行混合经营。 子受穿越为殷商纣王。 系统发布的第一个任务竟然让他找个女人表白,任务失败回到原世界? 子受表示:当nm的暴君,老子要回去! 为了回到原世界,作死表白了女娲。 却没想到阴差阳错地成功了! 子受:女娲是我女朋友怎么办?急,在线等! Ps:此书又名《我的女朋友是女娲》、《女娲好感度爆满了怎么办?急,在线等!》 少年豪气,镇守一方。 皇帝昏庸,烽烟四起。 异族觑觎,国之将亡。 生当作人杰,死亦为鬼雄。
武道横推:我以肉身打爆一切 异界圣堂 念古今 末世重生之尸海涌动 缤纷剑 奇峰天邑 当代守夜人 天域行 梦回三国五丈原 万古逆苍穹 震惊!我的女徒是无情剑帝 从天王开始的练习生 封魔榜单 启蒙号 无敌后的闲置生活 极度灵长 都市之重生帝王 一怒称帝 我真的只想苟着 萧暮 狗狗能飞机托运吗 狗狗用脸蹭地毛都掉了 狗狗能吃维e吗 狗狗尿 细菌感染 狗狗能飞机托运吗 狗狗能晚上驱虫吗 狗狗能吃维e吗 狗狗能吃的食物. 狗狗能喝很多水吗? 狗狗能吃的食物。 狗狗能吃虾米 狗狗能吃虾米 狗狗能用消毒液吗 狗狗用脸蹭地毛都掉了 狗狗年纪大了牙齿掉了 狗狗尿 细菌感染 狗狗能吃无糖食品吗 狗狗能喝很多水吗? 狗狗能打吗? 狗狗年老了 得了螨虫病 狗狗用脸蹭地毛都掉了 狗狗年老了 得了螨虫病 狗狗能打吗? 狗狗尿 细菌吗 狗狗能吃板栗吗? 狗狗能用消毒液吗 狗狗能飞机托运吗 狗狗能打青霉素的作用 狗狗能打吗? 狗狗能喝很多水吗? 狗狗尿 细菌感染 狗狗用黄油 狗狗年龄怎么算的 狗狗年纪大了牙齿掉了 狗狗能喂生鸡架吗 狗狗尿 细菌 狗狗年龄怎么算的 狗狗能吃维e吗 狗狗能用消毒液吗 狗狗年龄公式 狗狗尿 细菌 狗狗能吃的食物. 狗狗能揍吗 狗狗能吃无糖食品吗 狗狗尿多怀孕了吗 狗狗用黄油 狗狗能吃虾米 狗狗尿 细菌 狗狗能用消毒液吗 狗狗能吃人吃的消炎药吗 亚星官网 亚星官网 亚星游戏官网 亚星官网 亚星官网 震惊!我发弹幕吓退了百万凶灵! 黑渊术士 异魂交响曲 樱花谍 杀破狼之千年劫 AG真人 欧博官网 亚星游戏官网 AG真人 百家乐官网 狗狗能吃油的么 狗狗能打青霉素的作用 狗狗能吃炸的吗 狗狗能吃鸡肠子吗 狗狗年老了 得了螨虫病 狗狗尿 细菌感染 狗狗能吃鸡肠子吗 狗狗能吃人吃的消炎药吗 狗狗能吃鸡肠子吗 狗狗能用消毒液吗 狗狗能吃蒙拖 狗狗能吃虾米 狗狗能晚上驱虫吗 狗狗能吃板栗吗? 狗狗用黄油 狗狗能吃炸的吗 狗狗能揍吗 狗狗年龄公式 狗狗年老了 得了螨虫病 狗狗能飞机托运吗 狗狗能吃的食物. 狗狗能吃人吃的消炎药吗 狗狗年龄公式 狗狗能晚上驱虫吗 狗狗能飞机托运吗 狗狗尿多怀孕了吗 狗狗能晚上驱虫吗 狗狗能自己在家吗 狗狗尿 细菌吗 狗狗能自己在家吗